February 17, 2011

approaching possible surgery

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First, if you made it past the title of this post, I’m ok! This is not life threatening. While I’m not ready to go into all the details of the procedure, partly because I don’t yet know the outcome, it is fairly routine~and I’ve been told 100 times that I’m in excellent hands with the doctor I am working with. He’s a pro. And of course, Sean will be there in the waiting room. So not to worry.

However I will be going under anesthesia and may be having surgery and I will not know whether I’ve had the surgery until I wake up tomorrow. 

Having only been in the hospital once, I sincerely think the last time I was in one as a patient was as a new born baby...could that be? I’m first very appreciative that I’m not all that familiar with hospitals, although I did volunteer at one while I was in college, and second I’m a bit scared. The last and only time I’ve been under anesthesia was when I had my wisdom teeth taken out, also while I was in college. Although everyone says anesthesia is the best part. Is this true? It might be the one time my mind will be still without whirling thoughts of life and this business, did I mention I think a lot about my business? So in a weird way, while I’m scared, I’m also curious about what this whole experience will be like and kind of looking forward to the mental break. You know I’ve got put {a positive} spin on this right?

Actually in all honesty, the possible outcome of all of this health hootenanny is likely to be very positive. I hate to talk in such vague terms, because as you know I don’t mind being honest and personal on my blog, even if this is mostly my 'art blog' ~ but the truth is that aside from close personal friends and family I’m better at sharing most stories when I’m on the other side. I’m a perspective girl. I like to have a healthy *no pun intended* one when I write in a public forum like the interwebs. And sometimes when you’re in the thick of it, that healthy perspective is not to be found.

In fact it’s been super challenging keeping my feet on the ground this week. Remembering to try and have grace in the face of fear, yup, that’s a tough one. But that’s where it’s at really. That’s when you know you’re showing up the best you can be, when you can show up with grace even when you’re afraid.

So as you can see, it’s kind of synchronistic really that my new Kate Spade Iphone case that I won in a raffle at Alt arrived with this message stamped inside. Sometimes that’s all there is to it, we just need to have courage.

I’m a big believer in sending good thoughts for people, so if you have any to spare tomorrow afternoon, I will happily accept them.

Since I do not yet know whether I will be able to come home tomorrow evening or will be staying in the hospital for couple of days, I also don’t know what my recovery time will be or when I’ll be back to the blog ~ which is why I wanted to keep you in the loop over here. There is some hope I’ll be home tomorrow *fingers crossed* and then I’m sure I’ll be back sooner rather than later, because you know I’ll miss you guys. One way or another, I will try to let you know how it’s all going either here or on twitter, because you know the Iphone with the above message stamped on the inside of my cover is coming with me. xo

*Edit Monday morning, February 21* Am home and am resting. Thank you SO much for all your good thoughts from twitter to email to the blog. I am happy to report, they worked ;) While I did undergo a same day surgery, I did not need to have a full on abdominal surgery {insert really big *sigh* of relief here} which would’ve left me in the hospital for a few days. I was able to come home Friday evening. While still under the influence of pain meds I was able to tweet my return home. Then...let’s say my big events for the weekend were sleeping and watching a movie every so often, occasionally moving from the bed to the couch. Post surgery recovery is rather intense, and the will to type, or tweet, let alone open my computer was not there. Which let’s be honest, for someone who’s rather attached to her computer ~it’s also been a nice break. I do not feel like I’ve rested in this way, since I started this business five years ago, and I think I really need it. With that in mind, plus the fact that every other letter I type here is backwards, I’m going back to bed now and will see you back here sooner than expected. Thank you again. Good thoughts for those near and far really do make a difference. 

Comments (58)

I am sending as many positive vibes as I possible can.


XXOO
Nichole
you'll be in my prayers and heart starting now all the way through the end of tomorrow, slightly more than usual.
Marisa, My thoughts are with you. Your courage and spirit are so strong. Best of luck. We look forward to hearing from you "on the other side!" much love, Anne
Good luck! It will all be okay. Trust yourself!
*Hugs* and positive vibes being sent your way! :)
Surgery is no fun at all. If it is for anything abdominal, bring a pillow with you to support your tummy when you leave (I know this sounds weird but it was the best advice I got before having my gallbladder removed). Hope it goes well if you do need the surgery!
Funny, I was just thinking today about how it was a year ago this month that I found out I needed gall bladder surgery. Routine, but still scary, right? And I was thinking today about feeling kinda freaked out a year ago...and how it's now this tiny blip in my memory. And then I saw your tweet.

One day, this thing that feels so big in your world will be a blip on the screen for you, too. Sending happy, healing vibes your way and envisioning a quick and easy recovery!
good thoughts from this end...hope you are ok...I have had two surgeries in the last 2 years....as long as you have people around you that love you you will be in good hands...you obviously do...thinking of you....
Big Hugs! :)
Thinking good thoughts for you, Marisa! Take Care.
my thoughts will certainly be with you. all the best.
Thinking of you, Marisa... Hugs from DC.
Good thoughts and prayers coming your way
Marisa, good luck with everything and I wish you all the positive outcomes in the world. I will definitely be thinking of you. And you're right, it really is a kind of adventure, so for what it's worth, enjoy the novelty of it:)
Sending prayers and hugs and lots of positive thoughts:O)
Prayers and good thoughts.
Be brave!
xox
you'll be right :)
Lots of love and light and the best of healing intentions your way! And lots of support to you and your family + sean - you're going to be fine!
I'll be thinking of you Marisa, and wishing you all that is good and healthy!
Wishing you all the best. I will be sending happy happy thoughts and much much faith from hot hot Greece :))))
I'll be thinking of you tomorrow! I wish you a full and complete recovery.
Belinda
Sending positivity and good thoughts your way! :) Hang in there! (When I say "Hang in there," I think of that picture of the kitten hanging by a rope. And thinking of kittens is always positive!)
Take care Marisa, I'm sending you lots of positive thoughts! :)
Love Kate x
sending good thoughts your way.
love, julie
sending you good vibes and courage. take care of yourself :)
Sending good thoughts and my prayers to you, Marisa.
Get well... Hugs from Caracas ;)
Best of luck, Marisa. Look after yourself, and allow yourself some serious pampering when you emerge :) You deserve it!
Feb. 18 is here... and so am I! I woke up thinking about you. I will be holding your hand in my thoughts and heart. xoxox
Thinking good positive thoughts and sending them your way.
Sending you all the positive vibes I can! I went through a very similar situation in December. Wasn't sure if it would be a one day outpatient thing or longer. (I did get to go home that night) I was nervous too, as the last time I had surgery was for my tonsils when I was 12. Anyway, the love and support that will be surrounding you, plus your upbeat attitude :) will get you through it! Best to you!!
Sending major positive vibes your way! Actually, I'm listening to Class #6 right now as well, so thinking of you, double time! I'm a bit of an anxious person, and being under anesthesia horrifies me! Just the thought of being out of touch, out on control, sent me into hysteria before more than one surgery. So, I think I might know a little bit what you mean. Sending love and looking forward to hearing your perspective on the surgery once today is over.
Love
you are very strong my friend. you have courage and you will be receiving many positive, powerful, healing thoughts!

You have amazing things coming your way...today will be just a memory soon and you will be on to the next chapter. looking forward to that time for you.

be well! thinking happy sunny thoughts.
xoxo
kimm
Sending you good, healthy and happy thoughts to you!! All will be well.
you are a courageous soul! wishing you a happy and healthy return home soon!
Marisa- I'll be sending caring thoughts your way too!

I have (thankfully) only had one minor day-surgery, but here is what I remember: Everyone kept telling me it was routine, and simple, and it would be over before I knew it, and to not worry. I know they did this from a place of wanting to help me with any anxiety I was having- which was nice...However, I was seriously unprepared for how my body reacted to having had surgery: I was exhausted and achy and off-kilter for several days! Based on everyone's encouragement and reassurances, I had expected that I'd wake up and sort of ease right back into life fairly normally. I was sooo surprised, and felt that soemthing was wrong when I still felt a little flukey four days later. But when I shared this with the Dr. and the nurse, they said "well of course you are- you had surgery- that's a big deal to your body- it needs to recover now!" I"d have really appreciated a little more honest explanation of what to expect up-front...

So this is what I hope people will aknowledge when they're having surgery: You ARE in good hands, and you ARE a healthy, vibrant woman who will be just fine. But also: Anesthesia can take several days to fully clear out of the system, and it's a pretty strong drug- so may make you feel wierd well after you've come-to. Your body may feel extremely exhausted- because it sees even a minor procedure as sort of an assault it needs to react to. All of these aspects of recovery are different for each of us, and your personal reactions are important to respect. Time and rest is what you need to give them to honor your body's recovery process.

After that- it'll all be over and you'll be ready to tackle your amazing world again!
Sending you an abundance of positive thoughts from Santa Barbara, CA on Friday at 2:28pm PST! :)


May your body be healthy and well, may your mind be at peace, and may your heart be full of love :)

-K
Thinking of you!!
Best,
Anita
i've just read your last blog and entry and got worried to note it was written on the 17th. i checked my calendar to have it confirmed it was two days ago ('not so keen on the dates these days). that got me worried. then i re-read the last part of your blog where you said you may have to send updates via twitter. ahhh, it was such a relief to read your "twits" saying you are getting on fine. thank you God!!!
get all the rest you need...

a fan, alpha
Wishing you a quick trip in and out of the hospital. Lots of thoughts and prayers going out for you.

Best,
Pam
Hope you are home and well very soon Marisa. Thinking of you xx
Good luck! I hope it all went well. You are very courageous. Sending you good vibes... And I hope you are feeling better really soon!
Just wanted to send you some comfort hugs and prayers and hoping everything goes well and your home and safe real soon.
Thoughts and prayers for a speedy recovery. You are loved.
I've been sending you all the healing and strengthening thoughts and prayers I could possibly muster. Hope you are resting and feeling your best. Thanks for sharing with us. I too, believe that good, positive energy can make all the difference.
Marisa, just catching up with your blog today...I'm so happy you are home already and your procedure wound up being the less invasive option. Surgery, even minor is a lot to heal from both physically and emotionally - the relief alone of it being over can knock you into bed for a couple days. Take your time. Many healing thoughts to you my dear, I miss you!
Healing thoughts to you Marisa! When I had surgery couple years ago and was out for a week, I took advantage of the down time. My cat was the best care giver, and it sounds like you are in good hands.
Was thinking about you all weekend...I'm glad you got to go home Friday. Keep resting. :)
i love that little crazy kitten, Laura ~ thank you ;)
megan! special thank you for this comment. it has reassured me over the last few days, as this is exactly how i have been felling.
Dear Marisa,i did not read this posts until today! wow!
I hope you recover very soon! I really, trully, absolutly send you tons and tons of LOVE your way!!! You are a beautiful human beign!!!
Here´s more love thoughts for you and a thousand angels!!!
with love,
Ishtar
sending you healing thoughts and a speedy recovery. I was actually coming to this blog today to let you know how much I enjoyed your podcasts. I finished listening to 1 - 16 and love the topics, your voice and your drive. with that said I know how hard you work and it is okay to take so time and heal. keep smiling beautiful! ciao!
Wow Marisa, I a bit late to the game in wishing you many blessings with your surgery! I'm so glad to hear that everything went well. Your attitude in the face of it all is as always so encouraging! how do you do it!!! I would be a nervous wreck. I had a surgery about 12 years ago, and I remember those days afterwards, when the anesthesia was still wearing off, were so restful in a way that I had not experienced in years. Wishing you much rest as you continue recovering!! xo
I'm thinking of you, hoping recovery is going so well.
Dearest sweet marisa, so sorry to only read this today! I hope you are recovering well and im so glad everything went smooth. Sending healing thoughts, prayers and love your way! Happy sunday! Love to yoU!
I'm a little behind the times this week. Having just read your latest post. Wishing you all the healing thoughts for a speedy recovery. Lots of love. xx
xo love you
Ohhh...just getting caught up Marisa, and so very glad to read that the surgery went well! I am sending many warm thoughts your way for a speedy recovery time and of course wishes that a bounty of good and beautiful things will be headed your way in the very near future. xo Ez
P.S. I have a framed poster on the wall across from my bed that reads: "Courage My Love." It is a wonderful phrase to be reminded of every morning and evening. :-)