I did it

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Over the last 10 days I took my first genuine break, the first and only one taken all year. Yes, we did go to Paris but that was a working trip. Over the past two 1/2 weeks, we first went up to San Francisco for the Renegade show and then on to Davis, California and Ashland, Oregon to spend the holidays with our families ~and ok, get ready for this: following my time at Renegade I did not work. I did not tweet {well maybe once to wish you a Merry Christmas}. I did not email. I did not visit the internets. I did not paint. I did create one thing, that little sheep embroidery hoopsie featured above. I spent time with Seanie and our families.

As I sit here on the second day of the new year, a quiet, peaceful, rainy Sunday, I’m trying to decide if I feel ready to return to Creative Thursday?

When I slow down, especially as a sole business owner, there is that tendency to worry about what will happen any time I step away. I get concerned that if I’m not 'present' not creating something new, my business might just disappear. A bit extreme I know and a belief that I almost successfully let go of over the last couple of weeks. Last year I also stepped away from work, but you know it was different because we stayed home. It is definitely easier to let your work be for a few days when you physically leave your work space.

The other concern that crops up for me is that when I actually let go and really slow down and step out of a certain momentum that I might not return. That I might not find my momentum again, that I will not feel inspired or have any new ideas. I have a theory that this is why so many of us, especially in this country don’t really take the down time we need because we might realize that we need so much more to feel fully re-charged. And most of us appear to live lives by that don’t really allow for that kind of down time. So what do we do? I mean what do I do? I learn to live and work smarter not harder. I’ve also been making my *big* list of 2011 that includes everything from plans to wishes for this upcoming year and the 'working smarter' sentiment is on it.

Oi, not writing blog posts for a few weeks is also feeling foreign, but I’m going to keep writing here ~ because today I came across a post at Anna Maria’s that inspired me. I love how she made a long list of what 2010 was for her and I thought before I fully launch into 2011 I should take a moment and think about all the progress I made this past year. Very often when the new year rolls around I wonder ~ did I really make those changes I had hoped to implement the year before. Did I go for new dreams or did I let the momentum of my life carry me forward without taking the time to notice and truly appreciate what was happening around me? If you haven’t already noticed I’m probably equally as passionate about my expansion as a human being as I am about making art.

Life fascinates me. It always has. I love coming to a greater understanding of it. I am still amazed when I realize how a new understanding or perspective inspire me to love my life more. I like to think that’s how it is, that life is always becoming and if you let it unfold, it just gets better and better.

Ok then 2010 for me in no particular order

Speaking of Paris ~ I lived a dream and there is nothing better. I still can’t quite believe that we pulled it off, living there for a month with just one month of planning *amazing* I highly, highly recommend living those things you’ve been 'meaning' to do
I became braver because I lived that dream
Sean and I became closer because we lived it together
I became the proud owner of a bunny lamp
I made new friends and truly felt, in person, the power of connections and relationships initially made online
I re-connected with family friends I hadn’t seen in 18 years
I visited my family in Germany, love them more
Some of my German family also visited us here in L.A., love them more
We said goodbye to our sweet girl, and then Jackson and then Tank.
For a moment when Lulu left us we our hearts opened wider that they had ever been
Garbo, who is snoring by me now, and Riley became our 'totems' sitting with us for coffee time almost every morning, keeping us entertained, and reminding us that there’s really nothing to worry about it
Sean and I shared a lot of coffee times with long and sometimes challenging discussions, but always inspiring
Sean and I also taught 2 e-courses and lead an online community together ~most definitely inspired by those coffee time chats ;)
Through leading those courses we had the pleasure of meeting some of the nicest, most sincere people, ever.
I got an Iphone
And proceeded to use it as my camera almost more than as a phone
We celebrated Sean’s dad’s 80th birthday and it was a day where all of his family came together ~ with a family that includes siblings and extends to step-siblings and grandchildren ~ having everyone in the same room at the same time was remarkable in itself
The importance of a genuine connection with your family can never be underestimated and I finally get it
We had such good visits with our families this holiday season
I went to my first Quilt Market & loved every minute of it
I taught two more times at Squam. I became a better teacher and a better person, and had the pleasure of meeting even more of the loveliest people ever.
I participated in my first Renegade show
I can now tell the difference between a California wine and a French wine
I left Facebook, and finally saw " The Social Network" {great film by the way}. I also now know why I left
I fell in love with twitter more
It’s official, I love chatting it up on web videos and I will finish my 30th one this year
Finally learned to accept help and am still learning to ask for it when I need it, even hiring people three times this past year
I learned to speak up and be honest in all of my relationships and no one will ever be able to convince me that dishonesty or silently resenting and sweeping things under the rug is a better option
Cooked with pink peppercorns for the first time
We had a lot of dinners and dinner parties at our house ~ something I always wanted to do more of, have people over and cook for them ~ a dream I plan to continue to carry on in a Villa in Italy some day
There were times where I was able to be genuinely gracious in situations that would have once been highly upsetting. And then there was the time when I told a total stranger to 'stop being such a b*tch' because I just couldn’t take societal apathy and rudeness, especially here in Los Angeles, anymore {it was liberating}
I learned that cooking a meal does require your full attention which is why I’m blogging in the kitchen right now
Entering my fifth year of blogging, I am finally becoming less self-conscious about sharing my heart online
I had a tiny health scare that prepared me for another health situation I’m facing this year, that has the potential to lead to a very positive outcome that when I feel brave enough, I will share with you
Entering my fifth year of this business, I am finally 'figuring it out' and cannot wait to implement what I now know
Am a lot less concerned with what 'everyone else' is doing and pretty darn happy being with being focused on my work and what I am doing
Creative Thursday, this blog actually, had its first big press mention. thank you BHG
Met some wonderful new friends, and appreciated a few long time friends even more
I meditated more {nope, meditation does not mean a totally quiet mind for me, but it does mean that I’m sitting quietly more often, which actually works wonders} I even practiced yoga on my own a few times *new habits I am adopting*
Recognizing when I’m pushing too hard, I am learning to back off immediately
Life is not about crossing things off your to-do list *{it is not}*
Although getting more organized, and maintaining an organized life both personally and digitally so worth it
I started making creativity a priority again
Barely scratched the surface of all the ideas I have
I am learning to listen and work from inspired creativity now
Being invited to speak at Alt ~ so excited and public speaking is something I’ve been wanting to do for years
As you know, I’ve got a lot to say ;) which is why I’ll leave it here for now