March 31, 2010

so jealous.

Photo-8
 

The title to this post is an exact quote of  a recent comment that was left for me in response to my upcoming trip to Paris, and it completely inspired me and this is why...

First my official disclaimer: This post you’re about to read is in no way shape or form about passing judgement on the comment, because considering how many times I’ve felt this way and even said this exact sentiment to people ~if I was passing judgement,  I’d be a big ol' hypocrite. 

So there. 

And now on to my my point. What I’ve come to realize about this completely normal human emotion is that a} normal as it may be, it really sucks when you feel it and b}  any time you feel jealousy, it is giving you clues to what you really want in your own life.

That’s right jealousy is alerting you to your dreams.

You know how sometimes it’s hard to know what you truly want? Really, ask yourself or anyone you know this question right now, and see what answer{s} come up. Many times when I’ve asked this question, and following a very long pause I often hear "I don’t know?" accompanied by a slight sound of surprise ~ because you should know right? I think yes, we should know what we want, or at least be on the way to figuring it out. The truth is, very often, we only really know what we don’t want. And while that is a gooding starting point, knowing what you want is key.

This is why experiencing jealousy is so great! {odd to call jealousy great, I know, but this is the Creative Thursday blog, and you know I’m going to put a positive spin on it}

When the feeling of jealousy or envy sneak up on you, it feels bad because we want what the other person is living and somewhere inside of us, we might not believe that we can have it too. When you want something you think you can’t have, it feels frustrating, disappointing, sad, all around 'ick'. 

This is where I want to suggest that as soon as you feel the 'ick' come on, why not turn it around? identify what it is you want, then take that a step further and believe that you too can have it too. Even if  you think it may not be possible to have it, I challenge you to think you can and move forward in the direction of getting it. I know sometimes it’s not possible to have exactly what someone else is living, but you can get close. Because here’s the other thing, at the basis of what you want is a feeling accompanying the want and the feeling is really what you’re after, let’s say more freedom, or experiencing more happiness for example. Once you identify the feeling you want to experience more of, options open up for the way that it will happen for you. And I’ve found that when you stay open to all the ways it can happen for you, and trust that it will happen, what you want will occur in the best possible way just for you. It’s true. Also, another benefit of turning jealousy around, is that instead of envying someone, you become genuinely happy for them.

I just wanted to share this with you, because I know that our trip to Paris might be stirring it up for people, in a good way. I know whenever I’ve seen someone reach for a desire and achieve it, it makes me want to do the same. Better yet, it makes me believe I can do the same, insert "my upcoming trip to overseas" here. In a weird way, I now appreciate a lot of the people I’ve felt jealous of in the past, because if they hadn’t lived what made me jealous, I wouldn’t have reached for it myself. 

So, hey! thank you all people who I have been jealous of. You inspire me to reach for more in my life.

Comments (24)

This post is brilliant and is certainly keeping in step with how I've been feeling lately.
Thank you for getting in my head! I love this.
I loved your post! you remind us that we are no different one from the other - the difference is that some act towards their dream and others may just wonder. thank you for inspiring us to achieve our dreams :)
Awesome, awesome post! Thank you. I've been there - jealous - so thanks for the kick up the you know what!

Adele
I've been to Paris and I have no doubt that I shall return someday because it is the only big city I have ever really fallen in love with. I'll never have that first experience again, and, if this is your first visit, all I can say is, be prepared to be charmed, beguiled and utterly swept off your feet!
oh wow. very nicely said, a great way to look at things, thank you!
marisa, so true. i can't say i'm a very jealous person - i see people who i could be "jealous" of and think, "how can i get that too?" often times it's led me down an odd path, but i always learn something but my dreams & myself.

thanks for another awesome post! you are really inspiring me right now :)
I appreciate the switch up for that emotion. Enjoy Paris!
i'm jealous of your post! lol. brilliant. i love how you turn it around. soo true. and so, i thank you for letting me be jealous of you. :) have fun on the trip!
wonderful. wonderful. wonderful.
Loving your ever so thoughtful positive spin on things as usual, Marisa. I am going to strive to see jealousy as a guidepost from now on. Life is to short to complain or feel bitter. Have fun, can't wait to be taken along with you via your blog!
What a cool way to think of it...that jealousy is just a signal that you have to make it happen perhaps...love your positive outlook as always. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Although I am living in my dream location in Italy...I am "jealous" of you and Sean for the spontaneity of heading off to Paris :)
You know, I think many people are not jealous of your trip to Paris, but of your courage to drop what you are doing right now and go on an adventure. But if we can realize that, we've actually dug deeper and closer to actually giving it a go. =)
Wow - that is really powerful. I'm going to try to process it more whenever I feel a little wishfulness about what someone else is doing... good points.
This is very interesting to me. I think it's important for us as individuals to tease out what we are actually "jealous" of. My first thought was "I'm jealous of 'everyone's' beautifully redecorated houses and expensive stuff' but that is not really where I want my head to be and I don't think it's really what I want to strive for. When I allow myself to ponder it for just a minute more I see that's not what I want . . . Thanks for the food for thought!
I needed this, truly. I often have trouble getting tangled in pangs of jealousy, not rageful bitter akkkghh I hate you jealousy, but just like you said - the sad, frustrated 'ick' feeling of 'why not me??' It's so hard to separate away from that feeling and turn it into motivation sometimes.

But this is helping me to remember that's possible. Often it seems that others hold this 'secret key' to getting on the path we wish we could be on, when in reality it probably took a lot longer than we think, and they very well may have been on that path because they were jealous of someone else!
Very wise words, indeed. Thank you for this reminder. So refreshing to find this positive take on something that at face value can feel so awful - the ick - as you put it.
Great post!
well said - thanks - this came into my life at a perfect moment
inspiring~
thanks for giving me a fresh perspective!
Yes! The jealous monster has reared its ugly head in my life, more than once or twice. I love what you had to say...it makes sense! I think for me, I am more jealous of people who actually have the courage to do things...like up and go to Paris! However, it is in the realm of possibility for us all, and I think the jealous monster can definately be a motivating factor in getting us out of our ruts, and opening us up to trying something new, something scary.
Thanks for the reminder...I will think of this next time that feeling comes up again! xo maureen
So glad I read this post. That feeling is so ick, but I love your perspective on jealously and turning it around into something positive. So very true!
ummmm, that is just so freaking well put!!!!!! so glad i came here right when i did!!
wow, what a light bulb moment! It all makes sense, I'm going to right a list of all the things that have made me jealous recently and make it into a 'working toward' list....big thanks!
brilliant. seriously, thank you.