photos from the last "girl’s night" before Melissa’s big move

The only thing constant in life is change ~ how many times have you heard that quoted? So that’s what "they" tell us and "we" know this to be true, right? I’m wondering if why we do know this, why change still manages to take us by surprise often unsettling us for quite a while. Or maybe it’s me, maybe I’m just speaking for me? Do you get unsettled too?

What amazes me, looking back on my life, is that change almost always seems to reveal itself as becoming something even better than before. That is when I go with it, not against it, when I appreciate that it’s trying to lead me forward.

My yoga teacher was recently commenting on change, saying that because it is constant it is always up to us to meet it with grace. I completely agree with her, and as I mentioned last week this is a way of being that I am trying to become more of. You know one other thing you should probably know about me, if you haven’t already figured it out by visiting this blog ~  I’m about as passionate about understanding life, and becoming a better person in my life as I am about my art and creating. Some of us are just born with questions and it becomes one of our life’s missions to get them answered. That would be me. Then add into the idea that once we figure things out we feel compelled to share them with others. That would also be me, this blog and especially my podcast.

I’m not wanting to make a big long post out of this, but I want to acknowledge that I’m going through some sort of a change at the moment. Normally it lasts about a day or so and it’s not worth mentioning, but this one has been going on for weeks ~ and while it’s not what I would normally consider the best part of myself that I would usually share here on my blog, I’m thinking that maybe I might try to look at it differently this time ~ that maybe by sharing it and pretending that it actually is one of best parts of myself right now, that might soften whatever this transition is. It might bring some grace into it?

You see not only did the last couple of months begin with a huge, unexpected loss, but more change was to follow as two of my closest friends here in LA moved across country literally in the exact same week. One of whom is one of my creative friends that I endearingly call "the girls". At least every month the girls of which I am one :), get together and chat over everything from art and business to relationships, parenting (a couple of babies have been born in the time we’ve been getting together) to love and life. I wanted to mention Melissa’s move earlier, because it’s just so exciting for her, and so inspiring to pick up and move to a brand new city where the possibilities seem endless. Melissa and her husband, Ian and son, Sam are moving to beautiful Asheville, North Carolina and you can follow her adventure over at her blog. I can’t wait to see how their new lives will unfold ~ but I have been stalling on sharing it here, because I just don’t think I want it to be real. But it is. And I miss her.

self-portrait of from our "girl’s" dinner later that same evening

On top of all of that, my yoga studio that I’ve been going to since I moved to LA almost 7 years ago now, also changed location. And it’s so funny that something as simple as a room that you do yoga in could feel so important ~ but almost all of us are completely out of sorts in the new space.  That yoga studio was one of the only constants I’ve had in my 7 years here. It was the place where I could leave it all behind for an hour or so, and feel a sense of calm and well being ~ it was the place where I felt grounded.

And if that’s not enough, our country is in a huge state of flux as it is about to make a big leadership change ~which I won’t even go into in this post. Last but not least the season change is also upon us~ I always tend to feel a restlessness anyway at the beginning of a new season ~ ready for the weather and the fashion change. I suddenly long for sweaters and jeans in a completely different color palette. I put on a pink skirt today and it just didn’t feel right, so I changed.

Oh the symbolism of it all, especially the clothes...do you know what it’s like when you open your closet, you don’t know what to wear and you feel like none of your clothes are "you"? Very little is feeling like "me" at the moment. I’m somewhere in between these days, between the old me and the new me ~between boredom and excitement daily, even moving around in different rooms in my home because my studio feels unfamiliar, experimenting with new paintings, longing for old times and old friends, feeling grounded then completely in the air,  all while trying to embrace the newness that I know will be good. Then it too will transition into yet another platform from which the next change will take place. So again, maybe it would be nice to view the transition times as the familiar ~ accepting them in their awkward uncertainty and appreciating them as is while they gently unfold into what’s next. Well, not sure if I can do that but I’ll give it a try ~ and in the meantime I’m curious and excited to see what will be next once again ~ Right at this moment it will be a new daily painting. I’ll be back shortly with a more familiar one :)