I have a vision of waking up and starting my days with a sense of calm and peace.
(instead of jumping out of bed in a race to get as much done as I possibly can, in these sometimes 15 hour work days)

When I said I had so much to say in my post before Thanksgiving, it’s because I do. Exciting projects are on the horizon, but I’m not ready to talk about them just yet. This post is more about me having some things on my mind that I’m wanting to share. Sometimes when I have a lot to say, instead of saying it, I say nothing and then become overwhelmed by all the things I meant to say combined with all the now new things I want to say. You see! Now you know why I podcast ~ these thoughts and things have to get expressed somewhere ~ I’m so very much missing the podcast these days, which I will get back to soon, but I’m no longer making empty promises of when that will be exactly. There is so much I am wanting to do, and since this has been quite possibly the busiest 8 weeks of my life (and I say this having already lived most of my life with no lack of interesting and busy times, including many moves...) it has also been an adjustment for me not to become completely overwhelmed, and hard on myself, with the feeling like everything is falling behind, at a time of year when you already feel behind as soon as Thanksgiving is over.

I am happy to say that as of today all my orders are just about caught up, my work is hung and ready to see in NY at the show opening this Friday and my home feels mostly moved in, somewhat organized and definitely holiday cozy. We put up our tree this week and it calms me down whenever I sit by its twinkling soft white lights. Sean laughed at me the other day, because I buried my face in the tree to smell the evergreen scent to try and calm myself down. Hey, I’m trying anything these days to keep some sense of peace and balance.

Otherwise so many things feel behind, way, way behind and one of them is emails (and the other is feedback on Etsy!). I can’t seem to get below 700 something in my inbox. Many are not emails that I need to respond to, just ones that are pending that need to be organized and put away, but some are also ones that I’ve been meaning to respond to. So, if you’ve written me recently and have not yet heard back, please forgive my delayed response. It seems that a lot of my emails have the opening of "sorry for the delay" ~ and then I realized that maybe this is just where things presently are. Since there is only one of me doing everything for Creative Thursday, and since it is expanding in the way that it is, I can no longer get to all the things I once could.

I pride myself on being in touch with people, on having good customer service (learned during my retail days at my very first job at the GAP when I was 16), on personal thank you notes with each order, on being organized and efficient. And being a small business I want so much to keep this all going and to be in touch with each and every one of you, but somehow everything has bumped up to a new level and time needs to be re-allocated once again. I’m not exactly sure how everything will move forward, but I plan to explore all of this in the new year. I just want to keep you in the loop, as it has become one of the reasons I keep this blog.

As an almost entirely online business now, I’m finding that this blog is the best way I can keep in touch with all of you at once. In the meantime, please let me know in your emails if you need a response right away, and know that if you’ve emailed me I will do my best to get back to you as soon as I can. One thing you should also know is that I don’t like to email back a quick response just to let you know I got it. Sometimes that is all that is needed, but if you’ve taken the time to write me a thoughtful email, or ask me questions then it is my intention to write you back with a thoughtful response. And if I can’t answer you right away then I will respond when I have the time to do so.

Part of running your own business is this constant discovery of all the ways you can be more efficient while you try to keep a harmonious balance with the rest of your life. This includes learning about yourself and the ways you work and live best. I’ve recently learned that I work best focusing on one task at a time. If I’m creating then I might want to create for hours at a time, sometimes painting several paintings all in one sitting. If I’m emailing then I often carve out those same hours to respond to the majority of my emails all at once. And after watching the Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of "Eat Pray Love" on Oprah a couple of days ago, I’ve decided that I too tend to be a better person, the less I have on my plate. So, I’m working towards having less on my plate on all at once. Feeling overwhelmed and tense, even with all the exciting expansion that’s happening is not suiting me well. Sometimes I am so excited that I can’t sleep. I feel like a little kid who doesn’t want to sleep because I might miss something. It’s such a thrill to feel this excited about your life, but I’m finding I still need to fit in some rest. :) And I’m just no longer willing to sacrifice the energy that I now know that I need to keep things balanced. It is also important to me that I extend this same understanding to all of you who interact with me, my close relationships and my internet connections. I don’t want people to sacrifice their well being by stressing out over their perceived obligations to me. I understand, that we’re all busy and we all have full lives and I like to believe that if we relax about all of this, we will always connect at the perfect timing, and things will always get done in perfect timing as well. As I move forward I am wanting to break this cycle, and a broken record of "I’m so busy". I also know that my own expectations are high and that my overwhelmed feeling is so very self-imposed. So I’m going to try to officially un-self-impose it! It’s time to stop asking too much of ourselves and of others. I for one want to trust more, and relax into the natural flow of things, so I can move through my day graciously and with ease. And if this means that I have to "fall behind" according to what society’s present expectations are and that’s just how it’s going to have to be.

With all that said, I cannot begin to express the gratitude I feel for the way Creative Thursday has expanded just in the past 10 months. Considering that I wasn’t entirely sure how I would pay my bills almost a year ago, I’m still pinching myself that I can make a living doing what I love, along with the fact that so many of you get as much enjoyment and happiness from my art as I do making it. I’m endlessly appreciative of all of your comments and emails, and the all the support you have given me this year. And I just want you to know that!

A few changes along with the new awareness, I will no longer be making apologies any more about delays. I won’t be making any empty promises especially of plans for the future. And if you know me personally or if you follow me and/or my work on this blog, then you’ll just have to know and trust that my appreciation never ends, that I’m just trying to live the best life I can one day at a time, and I’m simply doing the best that I can with all of this.

I have a vision of waking up and starting my days with a sense of calm and peace.
And I have a vision of enjoying this holiday time with the same sense of calm and peace.

So, that’s all for now. I’m glad we had this chat, and I’m wishing you a very happy Creative Thursday. I’ll be back shortly with today’s painting!